The Foot-in-Mouth Award goes to

06 Mar

Dear Miss Kuli Roberts,

“I did not mean coloureds in general,” you said in an interview with one the weekend newspapers. “I meant Cape Coloureds.”

Bravo, Miss Roberts. Well done. You hereby have shown that you not only suffer from chronic foot in mouth disease, but that you are as thick as two short planks. Why and when and how did you decide that these statements above, with regards to your Bitches Brew column in last week’s Sunday World, would make everything okay? Why and when and how did you assume that the scores of pissed-off South Africans would now let you off the hook? Honestly now, Miss Roberts!

Before I hit the hay and forget: to blame editors for the shit quality of your column is just pathetic. Did one of your toes get stuck in your throat – depriving you of oxygen and leading to minor brain damage – when you put your foot in your mouth for the second time in one week? I certainly hope not!

Sub editors – the people you referred to – are there to yes, perfection a piece of writing (basically to look for grammar mistakes and typos, and to cross the Ts and dot the Is) but it is technically not their job to rewrite an entire bloody piece from A to Z and back. Subs are very busy people, especially since their numbers are declining. Of course, they should have given your column a compete overhaul in this case. *wags finger at sub*

That however does not make them responsible for your shabby style of writing. If you suck at math, professions like accounting are not for you. If you suck at needle work, maybe you should not become a surgeon. If you lack ethics and moral standards, the job of a politician is out (or is it?). The same counts for writing: if you are shit at it, don’t waste your time / ink / paper. If you are capable of writing but you have no clue how to work the art of satire, then stick to basic, fluffy pieces about make up or the weather or Justin Beaver, I mean Bieber.

It is not a train smash really, if you can’t write a proper column. There are hundreds of talented writers out there – black, white, coloured, and every skin shade in between – who can deliver a well-written, witty and satirical piece without needing a sub to hold their hand or wanting to offend 9% of the population. Check the database of the Southern African Freelancers’ Association (SAFREA), for instance.

Warm regards,

Miriam Mannak


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3 responses to “The Foot-in-Mouth Award goes to

  1. biobot

    March 6, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    A fair point. After all, we all know that the Cape variety are the worst of the lot, hey. #smh

  2. don

    March 7, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    As far as I am concerned on this matter, is that Kuli should be last to talk. She is fake from head to foot, and there nothing fake about colored women. Kuli, you are just a jealous bitch because you must wear a weave and you want to be white. But sorry, you remain black till you die mama.

  3. about us

    March 16, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    japan is in a crisis right now


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