Back On The Horse?

16 Feb

“Come on, just do it!” a friend told me not too long ago.”You gotta get back on the horse some day, right? Rather do it sooner than later.”

Friend X was not talking about horse riding or climbing back onto my Mountain Bike after a wee accident the other week (which has not deterred me from doing the Cape Argus by the way – I am cycling up a storm). She was talking about dating. Yes, that thing you do with someone you could possibly see yourself holding hands with. Eew.

Look, I am not sure if I am ready to throwing myself into the dating cauldron. First of all, the ex still pops up in my mind from time to time, despite the fact that I am pretty much okay we did not work out in the end (The writing was on the wall from the moment I left Oz after all, with him backing off and avoiding communication. I have had some time to get used to the idea … ). We were together for 1.5 years, and despite all the shit including three or four breaks ups from his side, I have good memories about us. Too bad he seems to be unwilling to build news ones but that is not my problem.

So despite the fact that I am not 100% sure whether I want to ‘put myself out there’, I do see myself walking hand in hand with someone at some point in time. However, I wonder if I have the energy to:

1) Find someone (finding a nice, handsome, straight, tall, sporty, single, non-religious, trustworthy, honest guy who does not have mommy issues / bonding issues / changing mind issues in Cape Town can be classified as a downright Mission Impossible)

2) Get to know that someone and all his quirks and baggage – with the possibility that it doesn’t work after all (meaning ou have just wasted another couple of months)

3) Go through the entire insecure “Oh shit, does he like me?” phase (with the possibility to get dumped in the process).

4) Be dumped

5) Having to dump someone if it doesn’t work out

6) Go through stages 1 -> 3 with someone else.

So what to do?

Friend X told me I should try online dating again. I laughed. Hard. The last time I did that, I was inundated by emails from creepy uncles / convict look-a-likes / sugar daddies / old toppies / horny teenagers / gangstahs / hippies / married men / other freakshows. Yes, it was entertaining I must admit, but it was not very productive on the dating front. To give ou an example: One guy that I agreed to date, ended up in a stalker who said he loved me after date number 3. When I told him to back off, he did just the opposite by ringing my doorbell. Another one burst into tears when I asked him why he was on this particular daring site. Number three was everything but tall, dark and handsome as he proclaimed to be. And so the list continues. I did make friends via this particular site, which is great. But love? Na-ah.

“But it could be food for interesting blog posts,” she added, all innocently and chirpy. “In the process, you COULD meet Mr Right, you know.”

Hm. Mr Right. *ponders*

I hate it when Friend X is / could be right. Hm. Watch this space.


Posted by on February 16, 2012 in The World of Mir


Tags: , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “Back On The Horse?

  1. Ruth Terry

    February 22, 2012 at 12:23 am

    I feel like online dating works exceptionally well for men. OK Cupid is quite popular here. I signed up for it after my last breakup and *it matched me with my ex*. Apparently we are 93% compatible. But if your ex lives in another country, it probably wouldn’t do that to you… See, every cloud does has a silver lining…

    I think even in the best of times, I wouldn’t have the energy for all those things! I think you should cut all but #2, replacing #1 with nurturing your effing fabulous creative self!!! It’s like when you lose your keys, the more you look the less likely you are to find them. But ignore them and they will be drawn like moths to a flame!

    (Or when you give up on sources getting back to you and two contact you while you’re posting blog comments!!)

  2. Miriam Mannak

    February 22, 2012 at 9:16 am

    Oh yes, online dating sites are funny like that. ‘My Site’ has matched me with a guy I know (90-something percent) but whom I would not touch with a 10-feet pole. He is a creep, an ass, and a sleaze who has shared his sheets with half of Cape Town (we in SA have an expression for that: “Town Pony”). It is nevertheless interesting.

    Look, don’t get me wrong: In time I would like to meet someone special, but at the moment I simply do not have the energy or confidence or what ever to chase men and ‘sell myself’. I am quite happy on my own. For the first time in many months, I am not worried about why he doesn’t want to skype / why he acts so distant / when he is going to change his mind again / wh he does not want to get married and have kids all of a sudden / when he will be ack from Oz / etc. I am actually >*happy*< (despite I miss the ex) and not willing to give that up for the first man that comes around.

    Have you set a date yet? Any luck with B-Spirit?


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