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You Have Got Soul, Mate(s)!


“Do you believe in soul mates?” Friend X asked me the other day. “Ah, never mind. You probably don’t. You are not the airy-fairy hippie type,” she continued without waiting for my reply, sipping happily on her wine.

Well, yes, I am not the airy-fairy hippie type. But I do happen to believe in soul mates. So there.

I however don’t think that one person has just one soul mate AND neither do I believe that soul mates are always permanent or confined to the romantic sphere. These special beings come in a wide variety of disguises. Some of them are friends, other mentors, parents, or total strangers. And lovers, of course. Some of these soul mates show up in your life and stick around like cheap Chinese superglue, while others pop up briefly and then vanish – *poof-gone*.

Despite their differences, all soul mates have one thing in common: they leave a lasting imprint on … well, I guess your soul. Or something like that.

I feel I have (had) several soul mates, and each one of them is playing / has played a unique role in my life, whether short and sweet or long and substantial.

Take my friend José. This chick is definitely one of my über soul mates. We have been friends since we were 13 years old, and despite the distance (she lives in The Netherlands while I reside in the most beautiful city in the world, Cape Town) we are very close. She is usually the first one I call when shit hits the fan this side, and I was one of the first people she told about her pregnancy. Whenever we see each other, which is usually once a year, it is like we met just the week before. I feel safe having her in my life. I feel that there is nothing in the world I cannot share with her. José will not judge, she will not laugh at me, or make me feel insignificant. I have some more friends who fit this bill, but José is different. She is like the sister I have never had.

Some soul mates however, come and then go – sometimes in a matter of days. A couple of years ago, I was overseas for work. I was minding my own business in the hotel lobby, when a handsome man started a conversation. When I turned around and looked him in the yes, something deep inside soft collided with my soul, leaving a nearly invisible yet permanent imprint behind. I guess you can compare the feeling the soft, gentle thud when the elevator you’re in hits the ground floor. Ou know, the feeling when your tummy and briefly heart change places. There was this instant connection, *smack-bang out of the blue* I must add that I rarely have instant connections with people, so I know when it happens.

Because I was on a media trip, I could not chat for very long and neither could he. A few days later, our paths crossed again. For the life of me I cannot remember how or where. All I can remember that he offered me a lift to my hotel because I had missed the bus. He dropped me off, we hugged – and that was that. While this encounter was very brief, and would probably not be meaningful to most people, I consider this person as one of my ‘hit and run’ soul mates. I can’t explain why, but that is just the way it is.

By the time I was finished with my explanation about my opinion  re soul mates, Friend X’s jaw had dropped on the floor.

“You are an airy-fairy hippie after all! You just don’t know it yet,” she giggled while asking the waiter for a top-up.

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Posted by on February 23, 2012 in The World of Mir

 

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Back On The Horse?


“Come on, just do it!” a friend told me not too long ago.”You gotta get back on the horse some day, right? Rather do it sooner than later.”

Friend X was not talking about horse riding or climbing back onto my Mountain Bike after a wee accident the other week (which has not deterred me from doing the Cape Argus by the way – I am cycling up a storm). She was talking about dating. Yes, that thing you do with someone you could possibly see yourself holding hands with. Eew.

Look, I am not sure if I am ready to throwing myself into the dating cauldron. First of all, the ex still pops up in my mind from time to time, despite the fact that I am pretty much okay we did not work out in the end (The writing was on the wall from the moment I left Oz after all, with him backing off and avoiding communication. I have had some time to get used to the idea … ). We were together for 1.5 years, and despite all the shit including three or four breaks ups from his side, I have good memories about us. Too bad he seems to be unwilling to build news ones but that is not my problem.

So despite the fact that I am not 100% sure whether I want to ‘put myself out there’, I do see myself walking hand in hand with someone at some point in time. However, I wonder if I have the energy to:

1) Find someone (finding a nice, handsome, straight, tall, sporty, single, non-religious, trustworthy, honest guy who does not have mommy issues / bonding issues / changing mind issues in Cape Town can be classified as a downright Mission Impossible)

2) Get to know that someone and all his quirks and baggage – with the possibility that it doesn’t work after all (meaning ou have just wasted another couple of months)

3) Go through the entire insecure “Oh shit, does he like me?” phase (with the possibility to get dumped in the process).

4) Be dumped

5) Having to dump someone if it doesn’t work out

6) Go through stages 1 -> 3 with someone else.

So what to do?

Friend X told me I should try online dating again. I laughed. Hard. The last time I did that, I was inundated by emails from creepy uncles / convict look-a-likes / sugar daddies / old toppies / horny teenagers / gangstahs / hippies / married men / other freakshows. Yes, it was entertaining I must admit, but it was not very productive on the dating front. To give ou an example: One guy that I agreed to date, ended up in a stalker who said he loved me after date number 3. When I told him to back off, he did just the opposite by ringing my doorbell. Another one burst into tears when I asked him why he was on this particular daring site. Number three was everything but tall, dark and handsome as he proclaimed to be. And so the list continues. I did make friends via this particular site, which is great. But love? Na-ah.

“But it could be food for interesting blog posts,” she added, all innocently and chirpy. “In the process, you COULD meet Mr Right, you know.”

Hm. Mr Right. *ponders*

I hate it when Friend X is / could be right. Hm. Watch this space.

 
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Posted by on February 16, 2012 in The World of Mir

 

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